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AM I OR AM I NOT AN AUTOCLAVE? by Ali MacLeod

What is an autoclave and what does it do?
Have I seen one without realizing what it was?

What is an autoclave and where can I get one?
Is my life for the worse since I don’t have my own?
Do they sell them at Target in the Autoclave section?

What is an autoclave and does it come from the Latin?
From the Greek?
From the both, as it sounds?
And if so, was it delivered to English through the French?
And if not, whence?
And if it’s the Latin, doesn’t clavis mean key?
Or is it clavus, nail?
How do you have an automatic key?
Or an automatic nail?
Or an automatic something else, if it turns out my Latin’s wrong?

What is an autoclave and can it be touched?
Or will my fingertips burn off upon feeling?
And will my burnt-off fingertips prevent me from being discovered, should I ever find it necessary to commit petty larceny?
Or would I need to flee the state?

What is an autoclave and when she calls me one, what does she mean?

What is an autoclave and who can I contact with further questions about their invention, manufacture, and operation?
Is there a 24-hour line?
How about a messaging service?

What is an autoclave and am I pronouncing that right?

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