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Football by Gwen Hilton

I want a man to ask me to watch football with him
I want him to trust that I can be quiet
And not ask the wrong questions
I can grab beers
Or not
I pack the bowl too tight a lot
But I’ll do it
I had a perfect season in Madden 07
The problem with madden 07 is that you don’t have to run the ball ever
The problem with madden 07 is that the PS2 isn’t real life
Flat fans, fan whir, canned lines, polygon grind
NFL blitz is pure fantasy
Pure fantasy is not football
Fantasy football is realer than real
The problem with me is
I played as the patriots because they were good
And when I think about football
The first thing in my mind is
MIA pregnant flipping the bird
And my mom saying that’s disgraceful
(Not) Borat voice
Very nice
I love my wife
But thank fucking god I can be here with you and watch football right now
American football
Not music
Never even a thought
Not soccer
Which is football
At Chicago’s greatest bar the AMBO
Glasses clinking, hooligans cheering,
Seven ayy emm games
When I won at trivia
Sedentary activities
A guy told me he was getting on a plane
To see his friends
To draft fantasy football teams
And I don’t mean anything by it
It’s just
The last two years the loser had to cross dress
I wasn’t in a dress
I said
It’s okay man I get it
If you ask me to get in a dress on the wrong day I’d cry too
I want to just hang out with you while you watch the game
Really that’s it.
Maybe next year I’ll get a little bit more
And maybe the year after I can keep up.

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