Everything is ephemeral when you’ve never had religion. I have never known God but I desperately need him to eat me and spit me out somewhere new. This is not a coming of age story. This is about going outside and forgetting your name. This is about introducing yourself as Ginger Jones to everyone you meet because she is perfect and because you are tired of being almost somebody. Nobody is safe when I am alone with myself. That is why there is the book. There would be no book if I was somebody’s somebody.
I do not mind cheaters, liars, or losers. They look a lot like winners, lovers, and champs if you stay around them long enough because everybody is special at first. Everybody is trying to show you every part of themselves before they disappear. The worst things you can call a girl from Los Angeles is fake and spoiled. The deepest wish in life is to be seen. I did not think I would make it this far. I am scared and I know I cannot stay forever. The world is growing tired of us and everybody thinks it’s somebody else’s fault. That’s why you sit on flat concrete floors under bright lights and it feels like barbed wire on your skin. You can never be comfortable half living. I have never met a girl I liked. I have never met a man I did not love. Suddenly the hierarchy collapses and no one is better than anyone else. The categories were a lie and I believed them because I needed something to hold it all up. God if you can hear me, let me live happily ever after with all the beautiful people.