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Ouroboros Fixation by Gwen Hilton


The problem with finding out you can suck your own dick
Is realizing you actually wanted company

The problem with finding out you can suck your own dick
Is that it’s hard to watch a video bent over yourself with your nuts like a sleep mask

The problem with finding out you can suck your own dick
Is never being able to finish because you’re worried you’ll snap your neck while you release

The problem with finding out you can suck your own dick
Is all those dick sucking skills don’t transfer to your own body

The problem with finding out you can suck your own dick
Is that the mechanical awareness of your own action makes it less sexy

The problem with finding out you can suck your own dick
Is getting too fat to do it again and thinking about death

The problem with finding out you can suck your own dick
Is realizing it’s not a point of pride

The problem with finding out you can suck your own dick
Is realizing a lot of life is like sucking your own dick

The problem with finding out you can suck your own dick
Is finding out that your face reveal to your multi million person fan base led people to find the video of you sucking your own dick

The problem with finding out you can suck your own dick
Is hearing a guy say if he could suck his own dick he wouldn’t rack up the bar tabs he racks up, piss away the time he pisses away, waste days on women he doesn’t even like, and you don’t know how to broach the conversation. The problem with finding out you can suck your own dick is realizing you can’t exist on a closed loop alone with yourself. You can’t feed yourself the conversation you had alone in your head because it’s not a conversation. You don’t know how to say to him, “I’ve been there.” You don’t know how to say what he wants is someone else, and sucking your own dick doesn’t make anyone else. And sometimes sucking your own dick feels like being your own worst enemy after a friend leaves and wondering if they like you as much as you like them. The problem with finding out you can suck your own dick is it was always the chase, not the catch. The problem with finding out you can suck your own dick is that knowledge isn’t power and knowledge definitely isn’t pleasure. The problem with finding out you can suck your own dick is that after you’ve done it you go to the bar earlier in the night.

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